“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi
Several years ago I wrote an article titled “The Love which Never Dies,” it was during the worst period of my life to date. I had yet to experience then the two heart attacks and several bouts with pneumonia which would follow in the years ahead. This was a battle of the worst kind of ailment or disease possible – “A Broken Heart”. Eventually I did have those heart attacks, I did battle with pneumonia four times, and as some of you know a wrestling match recently with a virus that landed me in the hospital for a few days. I continue to fight the good fight of staying alive and well, I still know of no other battle more painful than when the heart is broken and left to make its way from the battlefield and thereafter.
Yesterday we all woke to one of those strange “climate change” effects, “Summer in February”. As I too enjoyed the day with my daughter and friends, (who had not been to my home in a very long time, a kind of “reunion” of friendship), like so many of you I was impressed by the budding of trees and the presence of daffodil’s breaking through the winter soil. Perhaps like me you thought, “How Strange, how mysterious.” Well, later that evening I would conclude it was Mystery, the greatest one of all, and it was speaking to me, to all of us. Perhaps you may have heard Its voice as well.
“We will match your capacity to inflict suffering with our capacity to endure suffering. We will meet your physical force with soul force. We will not hate you, but we cannot in all good conscience obey your unjust laws. But we will soon wear you down by our capacity to endure suffering, and in winning our freedom, we will so appeal to your heart and conscience, that we will win yours in the process.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Whether one is a Buddhist, a Christian, or Jewish, there exist certain universal convictions that the founders and their disciples of each of these paths held and continue to hold to be inviolable.
“Every human being without exception possesses intrinsic dignity; everyone without exception should be treated with fairness, loving-kindness, and compassion; that each of us has the responsibility, and this includes how we treat the stranger, to protect those who cannot protect themselves, to lift up the fallen and provide them with basic tools to rebuild and flourish once again; and finally, the delicate web of the natural world should be handled with respect, and all natural resources should be used appropriately.”
Our nation and the world finds itself once again in tumultuous times marked by so much uncertainty and instability, accompanied by threats of increased violence and assaults on personal freedoms and basic human rights. This time, however, it will not be enough to simply assign these dramatic changes which have already begun and the ones that are still ahead, to just the ruling party’s political platform or vision for the nation. No, we are witnessing a dynamic effort to thwart the evolution of human consciousness that has been moving toward a more loving-kind and compassionate society, an inclusive society where no one is left behind or forgotten, a real and imminent threat upon the social fabric of our society and all humanity.
What lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do.
During this time of so much change and adversity, I am regularly reminded of some advise given me about parenting which has extended into all the roles I play at any given time. “Pick your battles.” Recently after making a decision back in November to spend less time watching cable news and visiting Pine Wind’s Facebook page, I made the error of visiting both the news media and social media a little more often than I would prefer to. An error I have quickly corrected. However, for anyone who feels otherwise I would like to respectfully offer some advise. Like so many I am sure, I find that more than necessary, repetition on current events and oppositional themes shot at me on Facebook. While one can certainly be entrapped by our emotions responding to every one of them, my advice is to “Pick Your Battles”. (I also noticed one day while drinking my very large cup of coffee and getting lost in one of the cable news networks, that all they really do in the course of just two-hours is repeat over and over again the same news they reported just an hour ago, and they are masters at making it look like “Breaking News”.) You don’t have to respond to each and every one of them. In fact I think there is an important “lesson” to be learned in feeling that you do.
“Our love, or lack of it…will in the end be an expression of ourselves: Of who we think we are, of what we want to be, and what we think we are here for.” – Thomas Merton
Love, like Authentic Spirituality is “not dualistic”. You cannot “be spiritual” or love anyone or anything within the context of ego, which is always viewing the world from a dualistic point of view, from a fear based narrative.
Love always tells us more about the lover than it does about the beloved. We love others only and according to how we love ourselves. We can only give what we have and to the extent we can love ourselves unconditionally, we will love others the same. To the extent we love ourselves unconditionally, we will accept others and will be able to embrace the world just as it is and as it is not. Love is the parent of such virtues as patience, and our ability to embrace impermanence. Love does not fear change. For love there is no loss or gain.
Love is not just some sentimental or romantic notion or emotion, it is a force driven towards action by a real sense of purpose, and sustained by integrity. In Zen we say, “May I at all times, both now and forever, live my life as a benefit for others.” While we may not love others with the same emotional intensity we might love a few closes to us however, love always loves with the same intention. Love is by nature benevolent, it seeks to always benefit the moment, to relieve suffering, and to bring support and hope to any crises.
It is only in loving others from a place of benevolence that I am able to experience love. Love seeks only one thing, to be a benefit to others. It is for this reason that love is its own reward. When I am truly and fully engaged in loving others I cannot be bored, worrisome, or discouraged. Loving gives my life meaning and purpose. Love is the meaning and purpose of my very existence.
Where ambition ends love begins. It is not until I stop seeking to have, will I ever have anything of any real substance. When I cease trying to “find love” or wanting to be loved, wanting the whole world to “devote itself to making me happy,” I will find true happiness, and I will be able to see that love was always right here. Loving others is the gateway to the Kingdom of Heaven, to Nirvana. The story about the healing of the blind man by Jesus was never fully told. I am convinced that all Jesus did was to convince the man of his worthiness, of his “lovability,” and immediately he was able to see.
So in the end the world does not need more leaders, saviors, certainly not more politicians. What the world needs more of now is what the world always needs: “More Lovers”.
“So dearly beloved let us love one another… for Love is God.” – John 4:7
“The way to happiness is to keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, give much. Fill your life with love…” – Buddha
I Love You,
On Wednesday, December 28th I found myself in Cooper Hospital’s emergency room. I woke up that morning feeling wonderful, much better than I had felt in several weeks. By noon I was in a car speeding through the streets of Camden until I was ushered to a chair where I would sit for the next hour. I was in convulsions shaking so badly I could barely speak. But I would find no mercy, at least for the next 40 minutes, even though it felt like an eternity. No one enjoys being sick let alone having to go to an emergency room these days, especially over a holiday. The room was packed. I was shaking and waiting for someone to come help. This is where I always say, “Here is where training pays off.”
To know one’s “intention” is vital for any healthy spiritual practice. To live with “integrity” is quintessential. Intention without integrity has no value. We need to know our truest intention and then live intentionally with integrity. Webster defines “integrity” as “a strict adherence to a particular way of being.” When I live with integrity my intention is reflected in all my choices, in every decision I make. It reflects in every word I speak, every action I commit.
A “person of integrity” is reliable, their word is their bond, their actions reflect who they are, you always know where they are coming from. I believe that integrity coalesces vision with action; it creates for sustainable and fulfilling relationship. There is a saying in Zen, “Even if the Sun were to rise in the West, the Bodhisattva knows one way.” No matter the circumstance, no matter the situation, no matter how I may feel at this moment, and even what I think, my integrity is my guide, my code for living my life, the cause for the effects or the results I aspire to create. I often say, “There are days when I must muster up a whole universe of compassion for some people I may encounter. And I do.”
“In the twenty-first century if we ever expect to fully realize peace of mind and body, we must cultivate a way-of-living which transcends religious and political ideology, and detach from our expectations on governments and religious institutions of themselves to ever bring about the transformation which leads to a loving-kind and compassionate society; one which is deeply rooted in personal responsibility, the practices of contemplation, and moral or ethical living.”
– Seijaku Roshi
Often visitors to Pine Wind mistaken the fundamental aim and objective of the Zen practice of turning the most commonplace activities of daily living, the mundane, into a thing of spiritual beauty capable of transforming this place and time into the Kingdom of Heaven with, what they often identify with as just rituals of “another religion”. There is a saying, “You don’t have to be a monk to live like a monk,” and I say, “but you have to live like a monk” if you are ever going to fully realize true and sustainable peace of mind and body. The whole world needs to become your Zendo, a place of contemplation and prayer, where inner and outer charity, forgiveness, and loving-kindness, is our religion and way-of-life. The conventional paradigm for “religion” and “religious affiliation,” like that of “political ideologies” and “political affiliations” in the modern culture has failed us and, will not be sufficient for the future if we ever expect to realize what people often refer to as, “The Oneness of Things”. We cannot ever expect to know for sure that we are One People, One Nation, or One World as long as we cling to the “identities of religion and politics” which too often serve to separate us from the other. They re-direct our attention and demand that our focus be on our “differences” rather than our “commonality”. Love, equality, compassion, kindness, justice, freedom, equanimity, and abundant prosperity are not religious beliefs or political ideologies reserved for just believers or party members, they are the very essence of all life and humanity. They are qualities of what Buddhist refer to as Buddha-Nature.
Yesterday we witnessed the effect of an electorate who believes that, “Reality Shows” are reality; that a nation where malice toward those who are different, hatred or resentment toward those who have what we do not have, and indifference toward the most vulnerable among us is not only the expected but the norm. Yesterday it was confirmed what was long suspected, that the “United” States of America is a myth; that the notion that every citizens life and the life of their daughters and sons matter is a myth; that the rights and liberties of a so called free nation belong to everyone is a myth, and that the “pursuit of happiness” has only been a means toward distracting us from the “man behind the curtain”.
Yesterday was not an election about one personality over another, or one party over another party; yesterday the majority chose hatred, greed, indifference, misogyny, sexism, homophobia, injustice, and nationalism, over patriotism and a united country, inclusiveness, charity, love of thy neighbor (no matter their religious beliefs and political affiliations, their level of income, or the color of their skin) and basic humanity.
The day after like every “day after” the rest of “the people” are faced with a choice. We can either become daunted and discouraged by yesterdays results, ready to throw in the towel, or we can choose to become even more committed and stronger in our convictions. We can be afraid, or learn how to transform our fear into a force of nature which, like Nature when the forest is destroyed by a fire responds with its inherent compassion and life force to renew it for a stronger and better forest for the future.
My Mother made the greatest meatballs and spaghetti sauce, or gravy as we called it, I ever tasted. The recipe of which was one of those “family secrets” except it was entirely my Mother’s secret. You never saw my Mother making the gravy, you’d wake up one morning and sitting on the stove was this large pot with about three inches of gravy at the bottom which increased by the time we ate dinner later that evening. Later in the day when we returned home from school, my siblings and I, would immediately notice the aroma of the meatballs cooking in the gravy which immediately drew you toward the stove like ancient pilgrims toward the holy grail. You raised the lid on the pot with one hand and a with a piece of Italian bread in the other you proceeded to “dip”. Suddenly you’d hear my Mother say, “Hey, get out of their, dinner’s not ready yet.” Once I asked my Mother what she put in her gravy, all she would say is, “Everything”. She never would tell us and I suspect that it was because she found pleasure watching us enjoy eating her creation and, she also believed that if she did tell us we would somehow mess it up.
I will assume that anyone reading this has heard this before, “If you do not find peace within yourself, you will not find it anywhere.” So perhaps you have heard it before or maybe this is the first time, either way, “It’s true!” Our Nation and the World around us would not be witnessing what it is today if everyone were to take this to heart, embrace it, and live it. Peace on Earth really does begin with you, it depends on you. “If you do not find peace within yourself, forget Peace on Earth.” This is not some Buddhist or Spiritual philosophy. Think about it, our actions which create causes which create effects, flow from our thoughts and our emotional state of being. It follows that when I am happy I behave in a completely different manner than when I am sad or angry. When I am content with my life, with who I am, I will treat you in a completely different manner than if I am always craving what you have, jealous of what you have, or resentful for you having and I don’t. Actions not only speak louder than words, they create lasting impressions like seed of consciousness which give rise to the future. Action is “karma” and karma is the energy which gives form to our inner thoughts and emotions. What we see out there began within us.