My Mother made the greatest meatballs and spaghetti sauce, or gravy as we called it, I ever tasted. The recipe of which was one of those “family secrets” except it was entirely my Mother’s secret. You never saw my Mother making the gravy, you’d wake up one morning and sitting on the stove was this large pot with about three inches of gravy at the bottom which increased by the time we ate dinner later that evening. Later in the day when we returned home from school, my siblings and I, would immediately notice the aroma of the meatballs cooking in the gravy which immediately drew you toward the stove like ancient pilgrims toward the holy grail. You raised the lid on the pot with one hand and a with a piece of Italian bread in the other you proceeded to “dip”. Suddenly you’d hear my Mother say, “Hey, get out of their, dinner’s not ready yet.” Once I asked my Mother what she put in her gravy, all she would say is, “Everything”. She never would tell us and I suspect that it was because she found pleasure watching us enjoy eating her creation and, she also believed that if she did tell us we would somehow mess it up.
I will assume that anyone reading this has heard this before, “If you do not find peace within yourself, you will not find it anywhere.” So perhaps you have heard it before or maybe this is the first time, either way, “It’s true!” Our Nation and the World around us would not be witnessing what it is today if everyone were to take this to heart, embrace it, and live it. Peace on Earth really does begin with you, it depends on you. “If you do not find peace within yourself, forget Peace on Earth.” This is not some Buddhist or Spiritual philosophy. Think about it, our actions which create causes which create effects, flow from our thoughts and our emotional state of being. It follows that when I am happy I behave in a completely different manner than when I am sad or angry. When I am content with my life, with who I am, I will treat you in a completely different manner than if I am always craving what you have, jealous of what you have, or resentful for you having and I don’t. Actions not only speak louder than words, they create lasting impressions like seed of consciousness which give rise to the future. Action is “karma” and karma is the energy which gives form to our inner thoughts and emotions. What we see out there began within us.
I am a cage for monkeys while I sit, scatterbrain is my name. My monkey mind wants my attention. Like with my seven year old I just acknowledge that. I’ll give it something to do. What it doesn’t know is doing will do it but only for a little while. Doing and having is of the nature of impermanence. It wants to go somewhere. What it doesn’t know is that there is nowhere to go. Up, down, left, right, there I am Up, Down, to the Left, to the Right. Where is there to go?
Our work is not to manipulate the moment, this Sacred Passing Moment, this way or that way. The world comes to us just as it is, and just as we don’t want it to be, except sometimes. Our work is to welcome it and make peace with it and for it, just the way we are. Ahhh. There it is. Peace. The monkey has settled down to – just Be.
To Be or Not to Be – there really is no choice.
As I found my seat on my meditation cushion my entire life experience presented itself to me. It was as if a replica of this self I call myself, sat nose to nose with me. Grief and gratitude surfaced within me. We are born and die a thousand times since that initial rise of form, until we meet that final moment when this container can no longer hold us and we are gone, only to return again until we break the shackles the delusion form creates.
I love it all this brith and death ride I’m on. The coming and the going; the having and the losing, falling in love and the broken heart. The sunrise and the sunset; the seasons passing only to come again, and again, and again.
The silence really is golden and abundantly full of wisdom. The aroma of the morning incense entices me. It rises above His crown chakra and suddenly no more. I hear a sound and then I don’t. I feel serene and then I open my eyes, time to ring the bell and speak the words I had already spoken in silence.
I bow to Samsara, it has always been their, like a teacher, a guide, a mentor, and even a friend; it has always been leading me to this, just this.
God I Love You,
– Seijaku Roshi